SCRIPT EXCERPT FROM "I AIN'T GOOD LOOKING BUT MY MOTHER GAVE ME SOMETHING"

INT. DAY - PRINGLES JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL

The final school bell for the year sounds off and scads of students exit the school at once, pushing, shoving and tumbling over one another. Tobe and Gunnar retreat to the teacher lounge-and-locker room where Mary Kate is seated in a folding chair against a wall and mixing drinks in a thermos for three other teachers also seated. A table is in the center of the room with a potted plant placed in the center.

MARY KATE: You guys want a nip?

Tobe looks at the thermos sideways.

TOBE: No thanks. (To Gunnar) Let's go to the mall in our workout clothes and get some Orange Juliuses.

GUNNAR: Let's milk each other dry and bathe in that milk so we stay young for all of eternity.

TOBE: Let's get that deal wrapped up and off to the board members before the end of the work day. Chinese? I'm buying!

Mary Kate stops stirring and the teachers look to Tobe and Gunnar. She gives a 'thumbs up' to Tobe and Gunnar and then to the other teachers and resumes stirring.

MARY KATE: Now we're talking, guys!!

Tobe sits on a couch adjacent to the table, removes his moccasins, and wipes sleep from his eyes.

GUNNAR: How about Italian? Last time they served me dog food, but it's a risk I'm willing to take for some really good ravioli!

Tobe jumps to attention and leans toward the teachers with an index finger extended, then swivels to Gunnar while still pointing.

TOBE: Oh, but daddy loves his chink! And they serve beer now -- bring it to you in a fry basket.

GUNNAR: Haha. Is that "Bring your own beer to the St. Ting's Friday Fish Fry!" thing still going on?

TOBE: Yeah, everyone brings their own beer and dumps it into a vat and then we all get 40 sips!

Mary Kate distributes the cocktails to her co-workers, stands and walks to a full-length mirror hanging on the wall, and begins putting her hair up in ribbons.

MARY KATE: Now I'm happy. Let's get our shanks on!

GUNNAR: You got it, tootsie!

Gunnar puts on a coat. Tobe accepts a lit joint from one of the teachers, takes a drag, passes the joint to Gunnar, and stares at a potted plant on the table. A card placed in the soil reads: "Don't get the end of the year blooz! - Principal Wily"

TOBE: Lacey and I smoked a joint on top of that old brew tank.

MARY KATE: (accusingly) Lacey owes me three bones.

TOBE: We started referring to it as "Cancun" 'cause we sat there for all of spring break. We had a hell of a time. God damn....