Friday, December 26, 2008


He was like, "What are you into?" And she was like, "Oh, you know, bondage and shit like that."
He was like, "No shit. I'm into watersports." She was like, "No shit. I had no idea you were such a sexual creature."
He was like, "Yeah, pretty sexual. Just the way I was raised I guess." She said, "Huh. When did your ma stop breastfeeding you?"
He said, "What's that got to do with anything?" She said, "I don't know. Just curious."
He said, "I don't have a weird breast thing if that's what you're getting at." She said, "Nah, that's not what I'm getting at. I just wondered if you were into milkmaids, that's all."
He said, "Shit, why didn't you just come out and ask?" She was like, "I always get nervous when the milkmaid thing comes up. It seems like every guy I've dated is into milkmaids."
He said, "Huh. Well, what else are you into?"
Candy condoms.
Handjob booths.
Rubber rooms.
The future looks brilliant.

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