Thursday, January 31, 2008

WE'RE HAVING A PARTY OVER HERE!

EVENING NEWS PROGRAM - FEMALE
"No! It's not fair that he-- that he... married that spider lady, with the bondage stuff...."

EARLY SEXUAL HARASSMENT VIDEO (PUBLIC ACCESS) - MALE
"Hey, do you even party?!"

NEWS AT NOON (CANADA) - FEMALE
"The assailant touched his dirty Kid Rock grubbfinger to Ms. Isabelle-Delarue's 'kitty-spot', police said."

EVENING NEWS PROGRAM (CONTEMPORARY) - MALE
"--and and I was like: BING! Can I get a WHAT WHAT?!! Haha--AND MAKE IT OILY!"

WAR PROGRAM ON DEAD SOLDIER - MALE
"He was a Green Beret. His friends thought he looked like Little Richard."

6 O'CLOCK NEWS - MALE
"He ate a chicken nugget. And then the other guy ate a chicken nugget. And then they looked at me like I was a rat. Like I was lower than dirt."

PBS DOCUMENTARY - MALE
"The snake rubs snakesnot on his recent kill."

EVENING NEWS (CONTEMPORARY) - MALE
"Because of his camel spider, the children of the neighborhood teased Dr. Sonderbar, called him a retard and a witch, and tried to burn him on a fire of seasoned oak."

EVENING NEWS - MALE
"WELL WHAT'S IT SUPPOSED TO SMELL LIKE!?!?"

PBS DOCUMENTARY - MALE
"Nope. There has never been a more advanced fish shovel. So make it as oily as you can."

1 comment:

Erin said...

Is it that I miss you so damn much or did this actually get funnier (read: more funny) since I left?