ON BANDITS

ON BANDITS
by C. Devereaux

A bandit's motivation can, in most cases, be attributed to a perceived lack of sexual attention from women. In an attempt to gain female approval, a male will seek to fit into a cultural norm, known as the "bad boy," or "bandit." Should said male have a single arm, he may move to Las Vegas, and start eating quarters. In the event that a homosexual male fails to find emotional fulfillment with a partner, he may also become a bandit, although like his one-armed equivalent, he will also move to Las Vegas and eat quarters, gaining him the colorful descriptor, "fruit bandit."