Tuesday, June 19, 2007


J.T. was the hottest gigolo on Jersey Street, all snaps and shade, rubbing downy honeypots for quick cash, whip-its, and a den to spike. Mamma Coca Lee was his cunny honey and a tramp so hard-up for longjohn that she opened a pizza joint just to get on the bone. Make no mistake: Lil' Lappy's Slices & Pies was a smash hit.

 "Whoa, dood, check out his arm!!" Three teenage stooges -- blondes with perfect feathering -- ogled J.T. His right arm was a hardly a matchstick; here was a jeff that knew how to juice.

The stooges didn't have a clue: they still thought "juicing" was what you did with a few oranges and a little patience. Anyone a year older than the stooges knew better. J.T. was less accustomed to little tangerines as he was to bruising cataloupes, but he bragged to kids about having a "killer OJ groove" anyway.

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