HAVE A NICE DAY

So bad. He felt so bad about all the things he did in the name of Satan. He felt so bad about the Hitler jokes, most of which were really not funny at all. And some of the ethnic slurring was very regrettable. Although, years later, he would try to laugh off both once his earrings were taken out, his hair cut short & bleached blonde to look like one of God's favored angels.

Sitting alone in the cafeteria, he wondered about the television shows he could have been on if he had given up Satanism in the 1980s, not the late 1990s, if he had also been "more bad." Then he wondered if he had let Satanism down. Maybe he hadn't tried hard enough. For example, he had never attempted to start a club for the friends of Lucifer. He had never even met any other Satanists. He was surprised by the sadness & began wearing his pentagram & upside down cross earrings for a few hours each night.

Stuck between his allegiance to heaven as an agent of The Light & The Lord and that of Satan's dark messengers, he felt like an Earthling. Looking in the mirror, seeing his pale hair & perfect white suit, he thought he most resembled a fruity David Duke. He would leave this persona behind when he shaved his head, took to wearing robes & began passing out flowers at the airport.

"Have a nice day," he will call to you, over & over again.