LOVE IS

Love is M*A*S*H in Africa. Love is a beaded peace belt on the giant's bedpost. Love is a horseradish mistake in the deli on Seder.

Love is adult/tween unsanctioned Gus Macker tournaments. Love is a young man seeing a gorgeous horse in a field & saying "Hoo wow."

Love is specifically interested in untouched soup. Love is a child raised by pigs: restrain her when passing a cabbage patch.

Love is a beautiful song about dancing at the disco with an 87 year old in a young man mask. He stops often to catch his breath.

Love is a winking face in a strange mirror. Love is a dried crystal on a branch of the oldest tree in Crete. Love is a thing in your hair.

Love is the horse jewel. Love is a ringing bell at the bottom of the mineral vat. Love is an autumn pie cooling in the pumpkin sun.

Love is a tire iron in a peach grove. Love is the mist hovering over a pregnancy test on the sidewalk.

Love is __ years young (& counting!)

HOW 2 FALL ASLEEP

  think of things that come in 1s & 2s: 1 grapes, 1 hairs, 1 Hitler's castles;

> 2 crackers, 2 pants, tooth, Tupac, etc.

SUMMER FESTIVAL SCENE REPORT

 Canadian prison band, The Teen Dreams, wow Michigan crowd. Tell my checking account I said "goodbye."

BIG HORN

big horn
stopped me in my boots

loud yellow metal
must be easier to put together

than a small one

those little keys

and rubber things
but bigger is better

depending

on the expense of brass
and the expense of rubber

I look at my chukka boots

“You could have been

this big horn that
I am in awe of this
loud yellow metal
but you carry my
brown yellow feet."

I have athletes foot

and if I'm being truthful

other problems too

and if I'm being wholly truthful

I am procrastinating

but procrastinating in awe

GROW HAIR ON HOT DOGS FOR $$$

Insane night. BMX jungle. Set a wheelchair on fire, shoved it at a police officer. Dogs chased me down Parkinsons for blocks. Finally landed at Canto de Bruxa. Drank Hart Wurm with Oral History. Threw a wrench in the toilet and laughed.

HOW WE MET

I met someone. We talked about Hillary's pringle, donut air, public twinkie, gravy domes, half melon, ferrari cakes & other taste debacles.

NEW SKIT: "COCAINE!"

Upbeat, gospel-y tune jammin'.

Come out with mic & dance steps:

Cocaine / Cocaine

You're so good to me, babe etc.

Do some really bad dance moves, spins, splits, etc.

Pull out 12"x12" bag of flour & pretend to do coke.

Have heart attack.

The show's over.

NEW SKATE LAWS SONGS

"Soaked Intruders Creep Forever"

"Tasered & Weak"

"Lame Pink Jag"

"Jeopardy Contestant"

"No Cummerbund/No Sash"

"Hovel of a Coward Yokel"

NIGHTMARES

We were talking about Lucifer's Paddle, love in the Me Decade, the freighter's deep dish pizza, a fruit leather ascot, and other nightmares.

TOP 5 (2011)

"Little Boy In a Lady Wig" by the Big Bop Man
"She or He Screamed Into the Night" by Donny Robeson-Hooper
"Male or Female is Confusing" by Linda Linda & The Carolers
"Touch my Girlfriend's Stuff that I'm Wearing" by Naztee Capone
"The Wind Beneath my Wig" by Max Schroeder