Monday, June 15, 2026

DISNEYLAND (BY HANS)

"Remember remember, do crimes in November." 

It was a tiny brown banana in banana-colored liquid, almost an optical illusion. A water so clean you could stick a straw or your dick in it and drink up through the hole. I ate her out and the cuntbubble popped in my face. It would only be worsies if you gets herpes. But you can relax: nurses have never been murdered less than nowadays. Put on your hair and step into the city and take a big whiff.

Stinking habit. You can't fuck drunks for a living.

I won a kissing contest. Who knows? Maybe I came in second.

It's never too late to start reinventing yourself!

Saturday, June 13, 2026

LOVE IS

Love is M*A*S*H in Africa. Love is a beaded peace belt on the giant's bedpost. Love is a horseradish mistake in the deli on Seder.

Love is adult/tween unsanctioned Gus Macker tournaments. Love is a young man seeing a gorgeous horse in a field & saying "Hoo wow."

Love is specifically interested in untouched soup. Love is a child raised by pigs: restrain her when passing a cabbage patch.

Love is a beautiful song about dancing at the disco with an 87 year old in a young man mask. He stops often to catch his breath.

Love is a winking face in a strange mirror. Love is a dried crystal on a branch of the oldest tree in Crete. Love is a thing in your hair.

Love is the horse jewel. Love is a ringing bell at the bottom of the mineral vat. Love is an autumn pie cooling in the pumpkin sun.

Love is a tire iron in a peach grove. Love is the mist hovering over a pregnancy test on the sidewalk.

Love is __ years young (& counting!)

HOW 2 FALL ASLEEP

  think of things that come in 1s & 2s: 1 grapes, 1 hairs, 1 Hitler's castles;

> 2 crackers, 2 pants, tooth, Tupac, etc.