Thursday, November 14, 2024

NEW SKIT: "COCAINE!"

Upbeat, gospel-y tune jammin'.

Come out with mic & dance steps:


Cocaine / Cocaine

You're so good to me, babe etc.


Do some really bad dance moves, spins, splits, etc.

Pull out 12"x12" bag of flour & pretend to do coke.

Have heart attack.

The show's over.

Thursday, July 25, 2024

NEW SKATE LAWS SONGS

"Soaked Intruders Creep Forever"

"Tasered & Weak"

"Lame Pink Jag"

"Jeopardy Contestant"

"No Cummerbund/No Sash"

"Hovel of a Coward Yokel"

Thursday, January 11, 2024

NIGHTMARES

We were talking about Lucifer's Paddle, love in the Me Decade, the freighter's deep dish pizza, a fruit leather ascot, and other nightmares.

Thursday, November 16, 2023

TOP 5 (2011)

"Little Boy In a Lady Wig" by the Big Bop Man
"She or He Screamed Into the Night" by Donny Robeson-Hooper
"Male or Female is Confusing" by Linda Linda & The Carolers
"Touch my Girlfriend's Stuff that I'm Wearing" by Naztee Capone
"The Wind Beneath my Wig" by Max Schroeder

WALK, DON'T RUN/GOLDEN ROPES (2006)


most think The Ventures had one good trick but
things really started to change when
they grew facial hair and got all where the
wild things are on their album covers

your fever in my
head and the feeling was so
overwhelming that my stomach
began to turn

in dreams would help but
it didn't

it pushed me over the edge and 
onto the throne like
I'd been beaten up always

wanted to kick someone's
ass to blue bayou

Monday, July 24, 2023

NEW SKATE LAWS SONGS

"I'll See You In Court"

"Set a Plate For Elijah"

"You Stepped On My Brazil Nuts"

Sunday, April 16, 2023

NOBODY'S READING

White bands of light or other colors slap across the city. Windshields blinded, cars stop and engines rev, the excitement sending pulses through flexed calf muscles. Eager to move into whatever color, whatever wall, whatever ahead, the desire to push down and cross into the new & strange, but not frightening. Not a warhead, not an army, neither a missive from a foreign terror, the lack of familiarity in witnessing this heatless blaze begets curiosity.

Thursday, July 14, 2022

NAME GAME

Gas Pane

T Cell

C.N.I. Dogg

Triple K

P Stane

Clams Chowders

SELIB8

Wittle BB

Ice 2 Get 2 No U

Q-Cumbor

Shit Breath

Friday, June 10, 2022

ROOT BEER (2014)

 No scene can touch this dick! I shrink dix 4 cash. Call now! I love being a model. I would love it more if it wasn't for the sex tape. Missing you more. Do you look for a moment of 'clearness' during the day? The moment of 'softness'?

Are you consumed by dread? Do you appreciate the moments when the dread alleviates? Or do you think alleviation is unnecessary? Do people deserve pain? Were people meant to be happy? Are you catholic? It doesn't matter.

There is no extended bank of pleasure, is there? There might be. There is. Yes, there is. It seems elusive though, unreal, hard to put your finger on & keep it there. But you, with your crazy hair and big smile, can hold on.

Friday, February 12, 2021

THE CHOCOLATE TESTERS

 "Fellows, I am sure as that dog is dead that we have once again created chocolate!" - from the novel The Chocolate Testers by Wiz Newton.